BOUNDLESS Code of Conduct

Introduction

At BOUNDLESS we strive to create a safe and comfortable space for all of our community members. Each member is expected to follow our community's conduct and consent policy in our spaces, be they intimate or otherwise, and we encourage each member to bring consent culture into every aspect of their lives.

This document details our conduct framework and incident reporting policies. We have drawn inspiration from Bonobo Network developed by William Winters & Misha Bonaventura. We also cite San Francisco Sex Information. Finally, we have also adapted some of our language from our friends at Consentuality, Inc.

This document is open source. Other groups and organizers are invited to adopt and edit this framework for their events or community.

Mission Statement

BOUNDLESS empowers individuals to explore and understand kink, and alternative relationships through accessible education. Our goals rely on fostering a safe, inclusive, and judgment-free community. We aim to break down barriers to knowledge by offering affordable resources, local workshops, and a supportive environment where everyone feels welcome to learn and grow.

Key elements:

• Accessibility:

  Emphasizes affordability, local reach, and inclusivity of unique individual needs.

• Education:

  Focuses on providing knowledge and understanding for safer self- and partnered-exploration.

• Community:

  Highlights the importance of a safe, supportive environment that fosters acceptance of self and others.

• Accountability:

  Holding all participants to be accountable for risk awareness, informed consent, respect, effective communication, and self awareness.

Event & Space Rules

While rules may vary from event to event and location to location, we recognize a few standard practices that we expect all guests/students/attendees and instructors to abide by.

• NO TOUCH:

  DO NOT TOUCH another person or their property without explicit consent. (See details about our consent framework below.)

• RESPECT THE SPACE:

  The BOUNDLESS organization does rents facilities from other businesses in order to provide educational and experience-based opportunities.
  As such, we ask that all guests be respectful of the space and leave it in the same condition which it was found, or better, in order to allow BOUNDLESS to continue to offer these opportunities.

• PHOTOS:

  For the safety and discretion of all attendees, photography requires consent of ALL pictured, regardless of the nature of one’s inclusion in the photo. It is impossible to determine which parts of a person, their clothing, or their manner are distinguishable to others. As such, do not take photos of anyone without their explicit consent. (See details about our consent framework below.) If asked, the photographer must also disclose where the photograph is intended to be shared, if applicable. Without consent of those pictured, photos should be deleted from the regular and trash files before the end of the event.
  
  CAMP 2025: Cameras on the backs of cellular devices should have a privacy sticker on them at all times.
  Front-facing (“selfie”) cameras should only be used in the designated area(s). Photographs taken in this fashion must still abide by the consent guidelines as described above.

Our Consent Framework

At its best, consent is an ongoing collaboration between two or more people in constant verbal, physical, and emotional dialogue about what each other needs to willingly, safely, and pleasurably engage in an interaction with one another.

• “NO” is OK:

  A "no" should be immediately accepted. No explanation is necessary. Be respectful of a person’s choice to opt-out or decline participation. The No is not a reflection of the askers’ worth.

• Freely Given:

  A ”yes” is given without persuasion, influence, or intimidation or any coercive tactics. These may include, but are not limited to:
  

  • Threats
  • Leveraging power
  • Persistent inquiries
  • Pressure,
  • Making someone responsible for your disappointment
  • Continuing to ask for something after a boundary is stated
  • Emotional manipulation

  These are expressly forbidden.
• Revocable:

  Consent can be revoked at any time. If consent is revoked, play must stop immediately.

• Informed:

  All parties are able to decide whether to participate in an activity based on a shared understanding of risk factors, risk tolerances, and other relevant facts. Individuals should address all risks involving their physical, emotional, and sexual health. Directly obtain the information you need to make the decisions that are best for you - ask questions, seek clarification.

• Enthusiastic:

  There is clearly expressed agreement to participate in an activity. We're looking for the presence of a yes, not the absence of a no.

• Specific:

  All parties are clear about what they are doing together and the boundaries of proposed activities. When there is a lack of specificity, the activity should be avoided.

• Competent:

  All parties have the unfettered ability, knowledge, judgment, and skill to make the decision as to whether or not to have an intimate interaction.

• Ongoing:

  Consent must be given throughout the interaction, Partners should check in frequently, and especially when anything changes about the interaction (e.g., changing activities, or levels of intensity.)

When prompted, please select CHOICE B on the Membership Vetting Application to confirm you have read this Code of Conduct.

Accountability Framework

While the preceding section details our consent framework in the abstract, we also offer the following guidelines around seeking and obtaining consent in context.

• Responsibility of Reporting:

  Community members are expected to report misconduct they have experienced or witnessed directly to the hosts.

  Intentionally misleading or false reports, rumor spreading, libel conduct, and retaliation reports will be seen as a threat to the safety of the community, and will be dealt with as both a Code of Conduct and ethics violation.

• Ask before initiating.

  Ask for consent before engaging in any contact with another individual. Questions like, “Can I sit with you?” “May I give you a compliment on your appearance?” or “Are you open to an invitation regarding play?” give the recipient more room to set comfortable boundaries on an interaction. Give adequate space for an answer after making an invitation.

• If there's no clear yes, treat it as a no.

  If your invitation is met with anything other than a clear yes, don't move forward. You may leave space for that person to explain or offer suggestions if they wish to. If they do not offer such an elaboration, treat the situation as a no, and disengage from that line of inquiry.

• Say no clearly.

  Your boundaries are celebrated in this community! Expressing them clearly doesn't hinder connection, it helps it. Examples may include:

  • Direct/Blanket "No" Options include:
  • “No.”
  • "No thanks, but I hope you find someone to enjoy!"
  • "I don't have the energy/spoons/time/availability for that right now."
  • If you want connection with that person, but not through the offered activity:
  • "No thank you, that's not my thing!"
  • "I am saying no to that thing, but yes to you. Can we do <insert activity here> instead?"

• Respond gracefully to people's boundaries.

  We must all participate in creating a culture that celebrates people's boundaries. The appropriate response to a "No" is, "Thank you for taking care of yourself and communicating your boundaries.”

  Other examples include:

  • "Thank you for letting me know!"
  • "Sounds good, let me know if you wish to negotiate anything later.."
  • "Sure no problem!"
  • "OK! I hope you have a great day/night.”

• If they give an inch, don't take a mile.

   Consent to engage in one level of intimacy (e.g., nonsexual touch) does not automatically give you consent to advance the level of intimacy.

• Avoid inadvertent pressure.

  If someone says "not right now" or "maybe later", you can take this person’s response as a no, and simply respond by saying, “thank you”.  Be sensitive to all the different ways, verbal and non-verbal, that someone might be communicating "no" to you.

• Check in frequently.

  "Are you enjoying yourself?", "Do you like it when I ___?", "Are you comfortable?”, “Is there anything you’d like me to be doing more or less of?". All of these are ways to elicit feedback to be sure that your partner is still consenting to what's happening, plus it gives you useful information about your play together.

Consent Violations

Consent Violations occur when any aspect of an agreed-upon activity is deviated from or when an activity happens without informed, explicit, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent from all participants. Examples may include, but are not limited to:

• Situations in which a pre-established “no” has been disregarded
• Sexual or scene-related actions/touch performed without pre-negotiation

Resulting Repercussions*:

Confirmed Consent Violations will result in a ban from all BOUNDLESS related activities and events, and cancellation of membership without refund of any dues paid, if applicable.

*Final repercussions for violations of any kind are at the discretion of BOUNDLESS facilitators and may take into consideration things such as severity and history of any violations within or outside of BOUNDLESS related events and spaces.

Code of Conduct Violations

Code of Conduct Violations are any action that specifically contradicts BOUNDLESS’s outlined Accountability framework as listed above. Additional violation considerations will be based on an inclusive community’s current expectations of conduct. Examples may include, but are not limited to:

• Not disclosing all known risks
• Acting in an unsafe manner
• Engaging in non-sexual or non-scene related contact without approval (ex: tapping to get attention, hugs, banter referring to or indicating BDSM aspects that are not pre-established, etc.)

Resulting Repercussions*:

Standard Code of Conduct violations will include a suspension of attendance and BOUNDLESS related activities until re-education/reintegration process needs have been satisfied. Assigned education materials, workshops, and evaluation are up to the discretion of BOUNDLESS facilitators.

Multiple Code of Conduct violations may result in ban and cancellation of membership.

*Final repercussions for violations of any kind are at the discretion of BOUNDLESS facilitators and may take into consideration things such as severity and history of any violations within or outside of BOUNDLESS related events and spaces.

Ethics Violations

Ethics violations are a reflection of an inclusive community’s current standard of practice when engaging with one another in spaces inside and outside of Boundless. Examples include, but are not limited to:

• Negotiating Up during a scene, without prior discussion around this concept
• Prejudiced words or actions towards another

Resulting Repercussions:

Final repercussions are at the discretion of BOUNDLESS facilitators and may take into consideration things such as severity and history of any violations within or outside of BOUNDLESS related events and spaces.

When prompted, please select CHOICE B on the Membership Vetting Application to confirm you have read this Code of Conduct.

Incident Reporting Procedures & Form